From then to now, a quiet journey

We are cups, constantly and quietly being filled. The trick is, knowing how to tip ourselves over and let the beautiful stuff out.

— Ray Bradbury

From Mary TallMountain’s volume of poems The Light on the Wall. Los Angeles: University of California Press, 1990.

“There Is No Word for Goodbye”

Sokoya, I said, looking through

the net of wrinkles into

wise black pools

of her eyes.

What do you say in Athabascan

when you leave each other?

What is the word

for goodbye?

A shade of feeling rippled  

the wind-tanned skin.

Ah, nothing, she said,

watching the river flash.

She looked at me close.

We just say, Tlaa. That means,

See you.

We never leave each other.

When does your mouth

say goodbye to your heart?

She touched me light

as a bluebell.

You forget when you leave us;

you're so small then.

We don't use that word.

We always think you're coming back, I

but if you don't,

we'll see you some place else.

You understand.

There is no word for goodbye.

Sokoya: Aunt (mother's sister)

Tlaa: See you 


Thought this was beautiful !

Being back. Learnt a new lesson today. What? Just Ignore the obstacles that come your way. Treat them as they don't exist. They will fade away. Face them if you must. But don't treat them as obstacles. Sounds interesting. Must try out. At this age I need to try out new ways of handling people. Hopefully this will also pass.:)

Been quiet for far too long. There is an urge to write. Pour out  the heart....... but the mundane callings of life push me to a corner. From where I stand today, I think life looks crystal clear. It scares me........  there is comfort in confusion....... There is comfort in cloaks. closed objects look less threatening. Clarity forces you to move further..... Clarity quickens your pace......... to where...... ?

There is an urge to move further into the shell. Can I make more space?
More space in the crammed shell?

The wide open blue sky beckons you.....the urge is to stop. Take a relook. Relook at what?

This is too cryptic even for me....

I promise to myself to be back......... share more of myself with myself.

Very funny. But I am back.. for sure.

அன்றும் இன்றும்

அன்று நான் உலகத்தை கண்றேன்
இன்று நான் என்னை காண்கிறேன்,
அன்று நான் என் உலகத்தை கன்று பயந்தேன்
இன்று நான் என் பயத்தின் நிஜத்தை உணர்கிறேன்,
அன்று நான் கனவு கண்றேன்
இன்று நான் கனவின் நனவை உணர்கிறேன்

காலங்களின் பாலங்கள் பலதை தாண்டி
இன்று நான் நிற்கும் இடம்
நானே எனக்காக தேடிக்கொண்டது
இதில் இப்பொழுது அச்சத்திற்கும் கேள்விக்குரிக்கும் இடமில்லை
இந்த இடைவெளியில் இருந்து..........


இங்கிருந்து எங்கோ ?

Nice to be back

Feels nice to be back 'after a long silence'.
A need to be heard?
Quite possible. :)

Quilting

Entered the world of serious (!) quilting by happenstance.Tried to know and understand this craft a little more.A very primitive analysis led me to do this post

The Western and Eastern approach to quilting.

The Western way with its beautiful patterns and composition  is nothing short of a perfect musical performance. Not a stitch out of place, brilliantly put together, these pieces of 'perfect art' certainly deserve kudos.

The American modern quilting.. Does it reflect the attitude of the 20th century culture? The need to be perfect.. the need to be almost flawless?

Of course, the need to be precise and perfect, the hours of planning that need to be done before one embarks on a project, is something to be highly appreciated.

But I feel a little intimidated with the western modern way. It scares me to be bound to a form.The need for impeccable performance... not a note astray...  scares me

 The Eastern way is perhaps more soothing as it gives you freedom, to move around, play and accept the result as it unfolds. The rhapsody of the eastern way I think is more meditative.There is less planning and more room for errors. More room for correction.

Well, then this is Me. And how I think.. feel...do..

Cheers to all quilters.

Silence

Silence...............Wait   .... watch....... Listen...... Hear........

Why do we possess an intrinsic need to be heard?
Why do we raise our voices?
Is silence a sign of weakness?

In the quietude of inner silence I hear the whispers of the universe.

I must learn to be silent oftentimes.

I am trying....

Winnie the Pooh

“You can't stay in your corner of the Forest waiting for others to come to you. You have to go to them sometimes.”

Winnie the Pooh

Winnie the Pooh

Rivers know this: there is no hurry. We shall get there some day.
Winnie the Pooh
Pooh's Little Instruction Book

Winnie the Pooh

"I don't see much sense in that," said Rabbit. "No," said Pooh humbly, "there isn't. But there was going to be when I began it. It's just that something happened to it along the way."
Winnie the Pooh
Winnie the Pooh

Winnie the Pooh

Eeyore was saying to himself, "This writing business. Pencils and what-not. Over-rated, if you ask me. Silly stuff. Nothing in it."
Winnie the Pooh

Ahalya

அஹல்யா

நான் ஒரு கல்

வீதியின் ஓரத்தில் இருக்கும் ஒரு சாதாரண கல்.
ராமனின் வருகைக்காக காத்துகொண்டிருக்கிற ஒரு சின்ன பாறை.

என் உள்ளம் என் சோகத்தால் கரைந்தாலும்
என் கண்ணீர் பாறைக்குள் ஈரமாக என்னுள் தங்கிவிட்டது

என்னை பஞ்சகன்யாவில் ஒரு கன்னியாக உலகம் பூசித்தலும்
என் வரலாறு ஒரு கேள்வி ஆகிவிட்டதல்லவா?


பிரமன் என்னை ஒரு இலட்சிய பெண்ணாக உருவாக்கினான்
தாயில்லாமல் வளரும் என்னை ரிஷி கௌதமரின் கையில் ஒப்படைத்தான்

தந்தையாக என்னை வளர்த்த ரிஷியே உன்னிடம் என்னை நான் ஒப்படைத்துகொண்டுவிட்டேன்
தந்தையே............... என் மனது உனக்கு புரியவில்லையா?

மனதும் தாபமும் புரிந்ததினால் தான் இந்த கடுஞ்சினமா?
நான் மரபு தாண்டினேன் என்று நினைத்துகொண்டு என்னிடம் நீ கொபித்துகொண்டால் .....ரிஷியே
உன்னிடம் என் சீற்றத்திருக்கு விலை ஏது?

நான் கல் ஆக்கப்பட்டேன் என்று எனக்கு சோகமில்லை
பெண் என்று என்னை தூசித்து, என் சைகையை கண்டனம் செய்து
ராமனின் வருகைக்காக என்னை காத்திருக்க வைத்து
மறுபடியும் என்னை ஒரு கன்னியாக மாற்றி
பூசிக்க வைக்கும் ஆணே
உன்னை நீனே தாழ்த்திக்கொண்டு விட்டாய்

மரபு தாண்டியது நீதான்
ரிஷியே நானில்லை

Mandodari

மண்டோதரி

வீணையில் என்னவரின் சிவஸ்துதி கேட்டேன்,
ஸ்லோகத்தின் நுடிகளில் ஒரு தூய்மையை உணர்ந்தேன்,
மனசில் ஒரு ஆனந்தம்,
அந்த மனசின் வெண்மையை மனசார உணர்ந்தேன்.

ஆனால் இந்த வெண்மையின் அந்திரங்கத்துள் ஏனிந்த கருந்துளை?

முற்றும் மூன்று உலகத்தை தன் உள்ளங்கையால் ஆண்வதற்கு, ஏனிந்த பேராசை?

நான் மண்டோதரி, சாஸ்திர பூரணமாக அவரின் கை பிடித்தேன்
அக்னியின் சாட்சியில் அவர் உலகத்தில் பங்கு கேட்டேன்
ஆனால் அவர் இதயத்தின் ஆழத்தில் என் ஆட்சி செல்லவில்லையே, ஏன்?

என் விழியன் மொழி அவருக்கு புரியவில்லயே........
என் அதரங்களின் ஏக்கக்குரல் என்னவரின் அட்டஹாசதில் எங்கே புதைந்ததோ ?
என் மௌனமே அவருக்கு ஒரு ஆயுதமாகிவிட்டதோ?

அவரின் பிழைகளை கண்டு என் நெஞ்சம் பதறுகிறது
என் குரல் ஒரு மௌனகுயிலின் குரலாக என்னில் தங்கிவிட்டதே? ஏன்?

அஞ்சாநெஞ்சம் கொண்ட என்னவரின் வீழ்ச்சியை நான் உண்மையாக உணர்கிறேன்
என் உணர்வு அவருக்கு புரியவில்லயே..........

சிவனின் பக்தன் என்னவர் ராவணனின் வீரமரணத்தை நான் கண்ணார காண்கிறேன்
என்னால் ஒன்றும் சைய்யமுடியவில்லயே .....
இதுதான் விதியா ?
இதுதான் விதியின் விளையாட்டா?

நான் மண்டோதரி, ராவணனின் தரும பத்தினி
என்னவரின் வீழ்ச்சியில் நான் சமபங்காளி, கூட்டாளி.......
என்னை என்னால் மாற்றிக்கொள்ள முடியவில்லையே ...... ஏன் ?

நான் மண்டோதரி, ராவணனின் தரும பத்தினி ....

A matter of time

Why do I feel so close to Sumi, the character from Shashi Deshpande's 'A matter of time'?
I read this piece of fiction may be seven years ago one December afternoon straight through in one shot....... the entire afternoon in the dull warmth of the west side winter sun. I had bought the book the day before. I remember I did not get up even for my customary cup of tea that afternoon. When I finished it was fading light and I struggled to finish the last few pages in the slowly enveloping blanket of darkness.

I have read all her books since then but this one is so vivid in my memory. It seemed I was living that life of Sumi. I felt I knew Aru, Charu and Seema as though they were my own. I knew each character so well that it seemed as though they were just there in me. Spooky now, but so true then.
I do not know if it is the social milieu that Shashi creates or the family structure or characters straight from one's life, but all her protagonists and characters are so familiar to me that I feel she has taken a peep into my life.

It is strange ! How many books I have read but none transported me into its world the way like this one did. I do not even understand why I am doing this post so many years later.

one bored afternoon

an open window
sky bound in squared holes
moon in one square

green grass everywhere
one tall straight lonely tree
blue sky beyond

white washed walls
very pretty graffiti
message taken?

jingling laughter
clapping tiny chubby hands
colourful kites

pouring pounding rain
one umbrella, nine heads
all wet, who cares?

Billi Queen

Gentleness

This I have learned at last
That gentleness
Is bred within the strong heart,
Those who possess it
are not mildly weak, but brave.
Seeing life clear they understand
that arrogance,
Is essentially hidden fear

My years have shown me that
compassion mends wounds engravend
deep upon the soul
And I now comprehend
That valour is an empty thing
when born of hate;
And only those with tenderness
can truly be great.

cell phones

Cell phones, the greatest invention of our times ! What convenience ! A market created where there actually was none. Could anyone have believed even in the beginning of this century that such an invention could take our lives by storm?

What advertisements for connecting! With the family, with friends, with business associates, with the world, with anyone and everyone !

It is here to stay for good I guess.

If it can't be found or is misplaced then life comes to a stand still. Nothing moves. All hell breaks loose. Until you find it or get another one. Sometimes you carry two... just in case.....

The ringing. Only you can here it. Because your ears are tuned to it. A tinkling low volume sound and you run for it helter skelter.

Most often what the person sitting next to you is saying in perfectly audible tone gets above your head as there is selective aural impairment. I can hear my phone somewhere..... In the bathroom... ? I was talking there a while ago.

But of course, you can hear the tiny weeny beep of the promo message received and your soul cannot rest until you check what it is.

Connect !!!!!! with everyone cry the zoo zoos. Where is the time to connect with people at home when you are connected to the world constantly. With people at home there are always mono syllables to use. Why waste energy in talking?

Actual conversations can be cut off in the middle. But you know.... I have to connect yaar! Connect with the world yaar!

And the best thing is you pay for it.

Home connections come free. You can use them anytime.

Zen poetry 3

Hey... I like this one too. Into zen mood.....


Though frosts come down
night after night,
what does it matter?
they melt in the morning sun.
Though the snow falls
each passing year,
what does it matter?
with spring days it thaws.
Yet once let them settle
on a man's head,
fall and pile up,
go on piling up—
then the new year
may come and go,
but never you'll see them fade away

Ryokan